Miscellaneous GAA Quotes

Matthew McMahon - Clare FM GAA commentator (during the All-Ireland 95) 

"The cigarettes are being lit here in the commentary box, the lads are getting anxious, its a line ball down there to Clare and who's to take it?... Will ye put 'em out lads ye'll choke me."

Pat Spillane on the Cavan football team 
'They have a forward line that couldn't punch holes in a paper bag'

Pat Spillane reflects on an Ulster Championship clash. 
The first half was even, the second half was even worse.


Players 
Offaly hurler quote in the week before a Leinster hurling final vs. Kilkenny 
'We're taking this match awful seriously. We're training three times a week now, and some of the boys are off the drink since Tuesday'

Sue Ramsbottom (Laois Ladies Captain). 
"When my friends were besotted with Jason Donovan, my heroes were Colm O'Rourke and Barney Rock" --

Anonymous Clare hurler 
'Ger Loughnane was fair, he treated us all the same during training - like dogs'

Michael Smith, Tipperary 
· The toughest match I ever heard off was the 1935 All-Ireland Semi-Final. After 6 minutes, the ball ricocheted off a post and went into the stand. The pulling continued relentlessly and it was 22 minutes before any of the players noticed the ball was missing"

Armagh's Gene Morgan to 'injured' teammate Pat Campbell. 
That's the first time I've seen anybody limping off with a sore finger!

Mick Holden (seriously late for training on a Saturday morning) 
- I was coming across town and I was stopped by the guards. They said I was a match for one of the guys that pulled the big bank robbery yesterday. 
- Kevin Heffernan: Really? 
- Holden: No, but it sounds so much better than saying I slept it out.


Managers 
Ger Loughnane on Tipp 
· I'm not giving away any secrets like that to Tipperary. If I had my way, I wouldn't even tell them the time of the throw-in"

Ollie Murphy 
I used to think it was great being a wee nippy corner forward, but its better now being a big, fat one

John O'Mahony 
Whenever a team loses, there's always a row at half time but when they win, it's an inspirational speech".

Manager to a club player in Derry.

We're taking you off but we're not bothering to put on a sub. Just having you off will improve our situation.



Famous People 
John B. Keane 
A Kerry footballer with an inferiority complex is one who thinks he's just as good as everybody else.

John B. Keane ventures into coaching 
· Now listen lads, I'm not happy with our tackling. We're hurting them but they keep getting up.

Joe Lynch, actor. 
I love Cork so much that if I caught one of their hurlers in bed with my missus, I'd tiptoe downstairs and make him a cup of tea"


Fans 
Offaly fan in 1998 
'Babs keating 'resigned' as coach because of illness and fatigue. The players were sick and tired of him'

Cork fan 1988 
'Meath players like to get their retaliation in first'

Another Cork fan 1988 
'Meath make football a colourful game-you get all black and blue'

Kerry fan 
'Colin Corkery is deceptive. He is slower than he looks'

Tipp fan to Ger Loughnane 
'Any chance of an autograph? Its for the wife...she really hates you'

Wexford Fan in 1996. 
· We've won one All-Ireland in a row"

Tipp fan on the Galway legend. 
· "Sylvie Linnane would start a riot in a graveyard"

Roscommon fan after the controversial 1980 All-Ireland final: 
- Fan: Hi ref, how's your dog?
- Ref: What do you mean? I don't have a dog.
- Fan: That's strange. You're the first blind man I've ever met that doesn't have a guide dog!

Dublin fan after Charlie Redmond missed a penalty in the 1994 All-Ireland final. 
He'll regret this to his dying day, if he lives that long.

Frustrated Sligo fan's judgement of the ref after the 2002 Connacht final. 
He wouldn't see a foul in a henhouse.

Tyrone fan after a controversial All-Ireland semi-final. 
· The rules of Meath football are basically simple: if it moves, kick it; if it doesn't move, kick it until it does.

Satellite News Channel interview with Euro 2004 fans in Lisbon... 
The reporter asked one man if he was disappointed that England had lost. 
The man replied, "Not at all, I'm Irish, I'm from Waterford". 
The reporter then asked, "But would you not support England when Ireland are not in the competition?"
The man replied "Jaysus no way".
Reporter: "Why not?"
Man: "800 years of oppression!!"
Reporter: "Is there ever any time you would support England?"
Man: "Maybe if they were playing Kilkenny!!!"